Me and Friendzo at Fordham to see the U2!

6 March 2009 ?

Careful around the wildebeest this time of year, they get rowdy as hell, dropping bodies and throwing crazy fits. I took a ride around the sand dunes in my dune buggy, it was something else, let me tell you! Friendzo and I raced a little bit … you know how Friendzo gets. He was speeding like a cauliflower circus, oh boy! We came inside for some hot chocolate (poor choice! yowza!) and then headed over to Fordham University to catch the U2 in concert. We got there and the security guards were talking a bunch of raspy jive about IDs, so we flashed our press credentials to the 1996 Republican National Convention, and it was smooth sailing after that. Freindzo’s friend Gina goes to Fordham, so we met up with her in the bell tower of the big old Gothic building, Keating Hall. Man, what a dump! Reminded me of the bell tower we used to have in the old house, before my family moved to Mastodontown.

U2 played songs, but they were mostly using their instruments as pretend swords, and fighting each other. This was mostly the Edge and Adam Clayton, since Bono just has a mic and drums are kind of oddly shaped for a pretend sword fight.

Leave a Comment » | Friendzo | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by hornblower

Ramshackle tumbler

2 March 2009 ?

So Friendzo and I were at the rail road tracks the other evening, counting the slats and soaking up some rays. He called me a funny name — Beanzo — and I raised an eyebrow. He called me another funny name — Bobby Darin — and I raised another eyebrow.

He called me a third name, also funny. This third name was “Redd Foxx.” I raised my last eyebrow. –Go ahead, I said, call me a fourth funny name. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He made a few strange faces, including one that made him look like Newt Gingrich with a head cold, but nothing came out of his mouth except for a moth and a John Q. Adams dollar coin. So I called him a really funny name — Reginald Queesenbury. Then we got up and jitterbugged for a half an hour.

Call it a victory.

2 Comments | Friendzo | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by hornblower

Light heavy, dark blue

1 March 2009 ?

Hot cow wow! Last night I caught the biggest trout I’ve ever seen! I caught it in the Ganges. I was with my friend Friendzo, and we were looking for pebbles to put in an empty honey jar. I was scooping handfuls gleefully, hollering like a wild baboon, when suddenly I spotted the mad green glint of the trout’s scales. Friendzo saw that I saw. I saw that he saw that I saw. He saw that I saw that he saw that I saw. The pebbles saw that he saw that I saw that he saw that I saw. And the trout saw nothing.

And I struck!

I plunged all three of my hands into the water, two grabbing the trout at each end, one rummaging for pebbles. Friendzo shouted “Okra magic!” and leapt out of the water to do push-ups on the shore. I raised the trout from the water and fed it some pebbles. He began to grow. He sprouted legs. His scales fell off and became diamonds. I held him to the sky and wept. Ouch! He bit me. Not too civilised, that one. Friendzo called to me, “O left, O right, wherefore this creature!” Suddenly it was dark. The trout grew wings and flew me to Friendzo. We opened the picnic basket. Mmm, pancakes. Soon, Friendzo had to leave for bocce lessons with Jan Stenerud. Just me and the trout, now, gazing out at the setting sun.  Dark fell on us and it hurt a little bit. Goddamn Dark. The trout was not expecting this from land. He wanted to return to the sea, but I reminded him that he had legs now.

And I sat and sat with him ’til dawn and would have counted the stars, if there’d been any.

1 Comment | Friendzo | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by hornblower

Next Entries »
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.